As I said in my "Depression: It's N

As I said in my "Depression: It's No Laughing Matter!" article, I am among the "working poor". That is, I work, but I work at a low-paying job, and what money I DO make mostly goes towards bills. this leaves me with very little afterwards.

I can't hardly afford to go shopping. I have very little in the way of food in the house.

I can only afford to get basic needs.

If I want to do something, I have to scrimp and save. It doesn't help that I don't have a car. Oh, I had one once, but the darn thing kept giving me fits, and the insurance ate me alive; I couldn't afford the payments, and so I was forced to get rid of it. The thing was more of a headache.

I DON'T miss it. But at other times I do.

I now have to depend on other people to go places, and I now have to walk everywhere. On a crutch. My crutch is now my "designated car".

It doesn't help that I work at a low-paying job where I get nothing but grief. I work at a local restaurant, and I work for a jerk. I also work in the back of the house, where 80% of the BOH employees DON'T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH.

Well, I have news for them: I DON'T SPEAK ANY SPANISH.

And I DON'T CARE TO LEARN, as this is AMERICA, NOT FUCKING MEXICO.

What makes the situation worse? I am handicapped, physically. I also have mental problems--major depression. Nobody is going to want to hire me because I am disabled and don't have reliable transportation. Trust me. I know. I've looked, and I only got grief. I even got fired from a job because of my disability and "I wasn't a senior citizen." (The job I had wanted was more for older people--seniors.) If they find out I am mentally ill with depression, I'll probably end up getting fired---

I have to work to pay my bills, but I am wondering if the stress I am going through day in and day out is worth it.

I could look for another job, but jobs close by my home are NOT that plentiful. I also don't have the transportation--other than my crutch.

If things don't get any better soon, I KNOW I'm going to end up having a nervous breakdown--or worse.

I am a Christian, but right now I don't feel very Christianlike. I feel more like Satan has me by the throat.

I wish the rich would know what it is like to struggle day in and day out, what it is like to go without food, what it's like to have no car, what it's like to have very little in the way of money......
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