“As I was enjoying a scotch by the fire with my butler Weedlesworth, he asked me "I say sir, what is missing from your life?'
"Well Weedlesworth," I replied, the scotch burning nearly as badly as the lonliness that permeated the air "I suppose a soulmate would be nice"
"But sir," he repied. "You are so accomplished, and rugged with your mustache and Hawiian shirt, and I love it when you steal Higgins' Ferrari and use it to solve crimes on the island. Surely a soulmate should be easy to find!"
Sensing Wheedlesworth drifting off into one of his now familiar Magnum P.I. reveries, I decided to take matters into my own hands.