I want to talk with you more than n

I want to talk with you more than now, but I feel excited when I talk with you and I alway forgot some words.

I began to study english about 3 years ago.
I worry everything, for example I afraid use word to wrong, I don't know many word.

I'm not good speaker.
I don't know, how I tell you.

I try to learn english, but it looks like not better.
I don't know I should to begin english how.
I felt edgy when I can't speak english with many people.
Everytime, I feel angry myself when I don't understand in many thing.
it may be looks like that I write but, I very serious.