Assumptions
Assumptions lead to compromise based on fear, which is driven by emotions. We assume if we don’t compromise then (a) we will loose everything or (b) the person we are negotiating with will become angry, upset or even disappointed with us – all are fear-based assumptions. On the other hand, some of the best negotiators have an “I don’t know” mind-set; a blank sheet.
The truth is you don’t know the answer to your request unless you ask and then listen. In other words, you may be able to get what you want by simply asking and then listening to the response.
The most powerful negotiating skill is listening. Once you ask for what you want and then listen to the response, you will hear the acceptance or objections to your request. Here is where you can clearly understand, and not assume, what the other person is thinking and feeling. Now you have a basis for a productive conversation to occur.
The problem is most of us are afraid to ask for we want in the first place. The not asking may stem from years of feeling unworthy or being told we are not enough by those in a position of authority or power over us. You may carry the fear that asking for something you really want may lead to being ridiculed, or worse.
No matter your past, begin learning how to step through the fear and ask for what you want. It begins by asking for something from someone you trust; by feeling safe. Ask and then listen. You may just get what you ask for – and more.
- See more at: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/how-to-improve-your-negotiation-skills/#sthash.rkv2NjjW.dpuf