Hej Pla, first of all I want to beg

Hej Pla,

first of all I want to beg your pardon about my behaviour in last mail, let me explain a little bit down in mail, but first what I feel exactly now: Exactly the same as I felt first time I saw you beside the bar desk. I felt in love, and that is as it is.

This is how I look at it, this situation which has up come. If this is wrong or right I do not know and I have ransacked my self that I'm for sure not the only one who can make a decision about what is wrong or right!

When you sent me the mail about the decision about the car for an other guy or me I immediately got the feeling that you had played a game with me all the time. Out from that I had been fair to you. This was just before the big work weekend for me and when you confirmed that I understood it all, I just broke through. This was my worst weekend inside my self, but I have the best collegues and we roll'n all the events. I was crying that night and I said to myself that I will never trust on any person again! Thats how it is then. Your mail complete drained my energy and I was not able to write anything to anyone. I was so disappointed to you and your behaviour to me so I could explode! I had trusted you since the first time I saw you and now, I did not now if this was a big joke or not. I painted up a huge not so good picture of you and the situation. The weekend was hard working but the worst was the hard and bad feelings! Inside me I love you and you know that and some of my friends know that it is something going on, or was!!
When you then send me a sms with information about that I make you happy and also make you cry, I felt, that was what I felt My Dear, because I love you. And then when you sent me the last mail I did not understand anything. You for the first time talked about that you thought that you loved me. What was this, I thought you want my money ar something else, because I had never heard anything like this before, so I got very confused.
That was then I had to reply out from my behaviour not my heart feelings. I tried to explain what I felt that weekend. I'm very sorry for that, Pla.

You have broken my heart, and if it is as you said in your last mail I have broken your heart. In the game it is 1-1.

Please my love Pla I have tried to explain my feelings ,but if it would be like that let it be and forget me please, I love you, I will not say " I Think". I have tried to be fair to you and explain everything. If you have the feeling that I've played out my cards, please do not answer on this mail then. In that case I know, in one year or so I will find myself again! The Show Must Go On!!!

I one more time say: I feel sorry for this situation, but as all situations, they help you next time. I want you Pla, I need you Pla, I love you Pla.

Please give me the love back.

If this is the last, take the best care of your self and I will always miss you........Jan
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put it back it was, its up to you!